Day 86
Location 16: London
Jan. 25, 2023
Here's a side-by-side look at my face from one week ago and today. (If you missed what happened, you can catch up here).
It's not the greatest photos of myself, but at least now all my teeth are there. The dentist put in a fake tooth to last until I return home for an implant as a permanent replacement.
To celebrate my new, old smile, my friend Galit and I visited the National Gallery with all the invaluable cultural artifacts London pillaged and plundered from other areas of the world and now refuses to give back.
Below, I breakdown the very best of their heist treasures:
Art | Info |
 | Oh Look! It's Me From One Week Ago Look at them teeth. |
 | Cleopatra (deceased) I assume this is what inspired the line in Little Red Riding Hood: "my, what big feet you have!" |
 | A Mummified Foot The best advertisement for pedicures in the history of humankind. |
 | Buddha Statue In 2007, my family vacationed in China. One day, our cab driver was a doppelgänger of Morpheus from The Matrix. Amused, we got him to exit the cab to take photos with us. He didn't speak English, so to this day, he just thinks in American, we treat our taxi drivers like celebrities. |
 | Old Board Game These game pieces are almost identical to the ones from the modern board game, Sorry. It's 2023 and we're plagiarizing work done thousands of years ago. We're living in a revision of a thousand-year-old rough draft of society. It's like when they discover an old cave painting of a penis–nothing's changed. For example... |
 | ...these are basically internet cat videos for the middle ages. |
 | ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) |
 | Are You High? Inexplicably, this room made you feel high. Or rather, that you wanted to be. The thing is, the whole room was video screens. The columns? The molding? The ceiling? Screens, screens, screens. |