Day 96
Location 7: Berlin
Feb. 4, 2023
In today's continued effort to play basketball in as many cities as possible, my visiting friend Nick Caldari and I searched out–and found–a public basketball court.
The court was either a big fan of Kevin Durant (unlikely) or sponsored by him (and neglected). Despite donning the logo of the multimillionaire NBA superstar, this court was as derelict as KD's reputation among people who prefer fighting their enemy to joining them. Or among people without burner Twitter accounts. Or among people with legs thicker than coconut shavings.
On the court sat a crow, eerily foreshadowing the wings of fate that would soon envelop the Brooklyn Nets. Just a few hours later, Kyrie Irving will be traded to the Dallas Mavericks. The trade will bring heartbreak to millions of fans and spark fear that their team¹ may never be good² again.
¹ the Dallas Mavericks
² plagued by an accidental anti-semite
Just like dark rum poured over ice with ginger beer, the Nets' future is Dark 'n' Stormy. But this dog's future modeling career? Like another drink, it's Bright As The Sun (that's when you drink so much Captain Morgan your eyes go black, as if you stared at the sun for 48 hours straight).
Her name is Bagel and with her tongue out, sweater on, eyes to camera, and ears back, you probably didn't even notice me in the background. Don't scoff, one time I posted a photo on Instagram and no one noticed the person in the background...even the person themself!
In 2020, I posted a photo of myself at a grocery store parking lot very far from home in Wyoming. "Oh my god, I've been to that parking lot!" my friend Claire excitedly texted me. So naturally, I posted the photo again with Claire subtly photoshopped into the very background of the photo. Eager to share my secret, I spilled the beans to Claire so she too could enjoy a warm bowl of delightfully deceitful chili. She spat the beans out immediately: "It's hard to articulate how weird this makes me feel" she replied delight-less. Whatever, more chili for me.
Left: My original Instagram post | Middle: A closer look at photoshopped Claire | Right: Claire's original Instagram post