90. Cliffs of Moher

Day 90

Location 17: Dublin

Jan. 29, 2023

We study history to improve the future, otherwise we're doomed to repeat the past. Coincidentally, today four moments of my past repeated themselves:

1. Handsy Statues

2. Never Meet Your Heroes

3. Bars, Bars, Bars

4. Cliffs of Moher

1. Handsy Statues

Past: I was photographed with and outshined by a pig statue (below, left). This pig skipped the market and instead ran all the way to get his eyebrows threaded and hooves manicured. Look at his smug smile, he’s as happy as a pig in shit (and I’m the shit).

Left: Me in NYC, 2017 | Right: Me in Ireland, 2023

Present: Failing to learn from my mistake, I got photographed beside the only yellow amorphous blob dumber-looking than a minion (above, right). Yet somehow, I’m still outshined. I hate him. I hate that his eyebrows are smaller, upside down versions of his smile. (If I ever take this "same pose" photo with a real character, like Spider-Man or Elmo, I'd really get my ass handed to me. But I'd never...)

True Story: While searching for this Elmo photo, I realized I'd recreated the pig photo years ago, but years after the original.

2. Never Meet Your Heroes

Past: In 2014, I met a man who, over the years, has helped countless fathers connect with their sons, mediated countless familial disputes, and garnered so much respect that people chant his name on a regular basis. This man? Jerry Springer.

Present: Comparing meeting Barack and Michelle Obama to meeting Jerry Springer is like comparing a 5-star hotel to whatever kind of hotel exploits vulnerable people for entertainment and money. But, a cardboard cutout of the Obamas? That's about equal to meeting the real-life Mr. Springer.

Disclaimer: Jerry Springer started in politics, but believed career politicians inevitably compromise their integrity to secure paychecks. So he quit and continued his political activism only as a passion. It's a noble thing to do. He was incredibly kind to me and seems like a good dude, despite my teasing.

3. Bars, Bars, Bars

Past & Present: Back in Boston, two of my favorite bars were Hennessey's and The Burren. In Ireland, I found these bars' long lost relatives, who were never able to make the trip to America.

Left: Ireland locations | Right: Boston bars

My fondest memories of these Boston bars include (1) putting on an impromptu fashion show using abandoned clothes in the bar, (2) catching a nut in my mouth, and (3) watching a middle-aged white man sing the hell out of Trap Queen by Fetty Wap:

4. Cliffs of Moher

Admittedly, this isn't a repeat of anything. But I saw the Cliffs of Moher today and have to include it. In fact, they probably should've been above the pig, Jerry Springer, and bar stories. Unfortunately, there's no way for me to change that now.

The cliffs were beautiful. So beautiful that if I were a pig, I would have cried tears of joy all the way home. If I was a president, I'd invade Ireland just to conquer the cliffs. If I was bar, I'd do nothing because a bar can't move or think–what's wrong with you?