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139. Bad Family Road Trip

  • Writer: Dylan Smith
    Dylan Smith
  • Mar 19, 2023
  • 2 min read

Updated: Nov 14, 2023

Day 139
Location 27: Budva, Montenegro
Mar. 19, 2023

Most buses in America and Western Europe are large coach busses, decked out with the usual amenities of a smelly rear bathroom, too-small cup holders, and non-working power outlets.

In Eastern Europe the busses are less glamorous: a cramped sprinter van, no bathroom, and a driver that smokes cigarettes the entire ride.

My ticket for today's bus ride from Tirana, Albania to Budva, Montenegro read 3:00pm. I sat and waited beside two other passengers with tickets for the same trip. "Wow, just the three of us. We'll have tons of room to spread out," I thought.

Then the bus arrived.
Sorry, did I say bus? I meant car.
Sorry, did I say car? I meant compact car.
Sorry, did I say compact car? I meant—wait, no, compact car is correct.


The sedan sat 5 and there were 4 of us (including the driver) plus an amount of luggage that could have clothed an entire small village in Laos for all of monsoon season.

The shotgun seat was taken by a large middle-aged United States Army veteran from Texas. The back-right seat was taken by a soft-spoken woman from London. The back-left seat was taken by me. The middle-seat (or "bitch-seat" for those who grew up with merciless older brothers) was reserved for the spillover luggage that couldn't be contained by the hatchback space. Said luggage was piled so high that if I turned my head to look at the British woman on my right, my eyeline was blocked by a tower of rigid nylon held together by straps and zippers and worn airline tags.

The bus company must've thought how can we make our passengers as uncomfortable as possible while also making them feel unsafe? And they found their answer. Sure it had the vibe of crashing the road trip of a stranger's family, but we made it to our destination nevertheless.

 



 
 
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