Day 128
Location 23: Ohrid, Macedonia
Mar. 8, 2023
I woke up, walked outside, and BAM! First thing in the morning, I was hit with this monstrosity:
Let's break down some of the key points of this advertisement.
Obviously, we'll start with the unsettling, confused Bruce Willis (and his clearly photoshopped hand holding the coffee). The only one more confused than Bruce is me as in "why the hell am I looking at Bruce Willis in a Macedonian ad for coffee?".
Second, is Bruce's supposed quote "Now this, I like!". It's so boringly plain. It has the pizzazz of a wet manilla folder.
Lastly, is it really necessary to qualify the coffee with the label of "energy". That's coffee's whole thing. It's like promoting "cold ice" or "feet socks". To be honest, coffee either gives you energy or it gives you anxiety, but it's not like there's a coffee company out there cashing in on the latter effect...
I love the "to go". Of course you can't sit and drink your anxiety coffee all relaxed, you gotta grab it and run and be stressed.
2. Shoe Swap
One afternoon back in Boston, I was working in the Rocketbook office and the co-founder of the company walked up to me, pointed at the dirty shoes on my feet, and gawked. "Did you just get out of a coal mine?" Okay—I decided—it was time to get new shoes. I have a habit of holding on to shoes until they're past their prime, like a browning banana or seasons 6-9 of The Office.
Here are my past-their-prime shoes I'm swapping out today:
3. Bad Decisions
Sometimes you get drunk, invite someone over, and make a bad decision.
Maybe you even pay them to come over without bothering to learn their name. Just a nameless transaction in the middle of the night.
You act without thinking, and don't—or rather, can't—take a moment to consider will I regret this in the morning? No, you are so ravenous that you jump right in, grab it with both hands, and shove it straight into your mouth.
What did you do? You got Dominos delivered and ate an entire large pie topped with pineapple by yourself. Big mistake. That's too much pizza. You didn't use protection (lactase pills) and now can't stop worrying about the potential consequences of your actions (unintentional bowel expulsion). The next morning you find yourself hungover, starving, and unable to recall the previous night's events. The only evidence of your erratic behavior are the tomato sauce stains on your bed sheets.
In a panic, you decide you need a solution ASAP. You've got to eat and there's only one place to go:
